Top Five- Shit Girls Do

Boy oh boy.  Today I heard some utterly disgusting, yet completely un-original tales of bad girls doing bad things to good people.  So, it is with remarkable ease I am setting about writing this entry!

#5.  Over analyse EVERYTHING

So as a girl, I would like to argue a little in favour of the ladies here, and make a claim that it is in our psyche to be a tad over anxious. Ok so we don't talk more than men, but as a woman who has plenty of male friends, I can guarantee we worry about stuff more.  

However!!  I think most quasi-sane girls can appreciate this tendency to attribute meaning to how many "x's" are at the end of a text from a guy, is completely mad.  Still, many many girls do it.  This would not be so bad were it an inner monologue, but the sisterhood dictates that any opinion you might have formed cannot be confirmed, until you have your girlfriends agree.  So these kind of "I think he's really great, but do you think he is cheating on me?", "I get the impression he would like it if I wore yellow?" or "Maybe he's just busy, but why doesn't he LOVE ME YET?!" conversations are WAY too common.  

Come on ladies.  We KNOW its mental behaviour, lets tone it down.  (Want to not be so mental ladies?  Here's some tips.)

[As a footnote to this point, I have been asked to include that women also talk too much to express something that could be summarised in a smiley emoticon.  Frankly- this is an abhorrent idea, and the person who suggested this, told me that he found smileys a great way of placating over-chatty women the first time I met him.  Since then, every smiley I receive from him is like a dagger with 'You talk too much' notelet attached. ;-) {only kidding F} ]

#4. Leading guys on
Ok so for me, the worst examples of this are-.

1. Kissing other girls to get guys' attention. SO lame.  So so so lame. Girls, don't kiss your girlfriend unless you are into it!  Sure, I get the whole 'guys like girl on girl' thing, but you have immediately set yourself up as an object.  Did you think by indulging a common porno fantasy, that the guy you pull will be totally into what books you love?  Which means, when it all goes tits up and you're sad that Boy X was never really into your personality, well.... my sympathies will be limited.
2. Allowing guys to shower you with gifts. I used to be friends with a completely insane girl.  Not in a fun 'insane' way either, just totally bonkers.  It took me a good while to notice just how unbalanced she was, and even longer to shake her.  Anyway, we used to go out, and plenty of times she would literally go out with nothing in her wallet.  She would accept drinks from guys all night, flirt with them, and then laugh with me about how stupid they were.  At the time, I was a little naive, and she was a little older, and I thought maybe she was just really cosmopolitan and I was the frump.  Then I realised - she was a huge jerk.  As a rule of thumb, I don't really accept anything off anyone unless I know them, or want to get to know them.  A evening of free drinks is rarely free- and if you swan off at the end of the night, you are being a TEASE. [Personally, I have always been a bit of a fan of going dutch with things.  I mean, sure, the first few dates and things, if the boy wants to pay, that's fine, but not all the time.  Its not fair!]

#3. Bitching.

Damn.  While guys fighting each other is kind of scary and stuff, more often than not, they will be friends again shortly after.  It is a much more honest way of dealing with things, and therefore much better.  Guys do tend to be a bit more forthright about things than girls.  It is infinitesimally more loaded, scary and nasty the way girls can continue to be friends with other girls that they hate.  Its a weird passive aggressive tendency, which we've all seen and I am sure we'd all rather didn't happen.

#2. Plughole Grossness

 Hair in plugholes.  I have lived with enough girls and dealt with my own mane enough to know that a joy of being a boy is the avoidance of this  -->

  

Oh god.  Trying to find this picture online was nauseating.  Yuck yuck yuck.

#1. Pretending to be dumb

ARGH!!! This is my NUMBER ONE MOST ANNOYING THING EVER.  We are NOT Barbies (though this girl is- weird huh?!)  Nothing, and I mean, nothing will make me dislike someone more than when a smart girl pretends to be dumb and 'cute' in order to impress a guy. Why?!!?  I have no idea where this idea that girls being stupid is attractive comes from.  One of my friends once dated this girl who was studying law... but when I met her, she appeared to have cotton wool for brains.  God, it annoyed me.  This whole 'dumb blonde' thing annoys me, because why is stupidity attractive?  Stupidity is a huge turn off for me, and certainly, if a guy tried to impress me by toning down his natural intelligence, I'd think he was crazy.  And stupid.

(Here is another good blog on this.)