Tonight, I am meant to be meeting up with a hawk. I ought to explain the title of this blog. Catch a pigeon is the way my good friend C has referred to the hawks (naughty boys) trying to catch me. Its in reference to the Dick Dastardly and Muttley cartoon where they would try to catch the pigeon...who would always escape.
This seems kind of funny, except for the fact that I am a bit notoriously emotionally dead (at least between myself and some close friends, we've discovered this) following a big bad heartbreak, ehh, what, two and a half years ago?! Dear god. But yes, seems like if you don't give a crap, its like catnip to chaps. Which is funny except when this manifests itself as 4am bootie calls and dirty photos. Which, frankly, beyond a certain point starts to make the proverbial pigeon feel a little skanky.
Anyway, this hawk is a particularly dangerous. Will keep you posted.
And in other news....
Yesterday, I lost my job. Obviously going into details is a little tawdry at this stage (no doubt I will do at some point) but needless to say- OUCH.
The seven stages of grief are as follows-
1. SHOCK & DENIAL-You will probably react to learning of the loss with numbed disbelief. You may deny the reality of the loss at some level, in order to avoid the pain.
Reality- I spent all weekend at my friend Mike's house and with friends- distracting myself in a very major way...
2. PAIN & GUILT-
As the shock wears off, it is replaced with the suffering of unbelievable pain. Although excruciating and almost unbearable, it is important that you experience the pain fully, and not hide it, avoid it or escape from it with alcohol or drugs.
Reality- errr....I didn't feel any pain, but I did drink. Ooooh yes. I fear the lack of pain may be because I veered quickly into stage 3....You may rail against fate, questioning "Why me?"
3. ANGER & BARGAINING-
Frustration gives way to anger, and you may lash out and lay unwarranted blame for the loss on someone else.
Reality- Fact; Everyone thinks I've been stitched up. So, yes, I was angry. Just when your friends may think you should be getting on with your life, a long period of sad reflection will likely overtake you.
4. "DEPRESSION", REFLECTION, LONELINESS-
During this time, you finally realize the true magnitude of your loss, and it depresses you. You may sense feelings of emptiness or despair.
Reality- Not so much. Did have a few very vivid moments of horror and fear that I was losing The Game Of Life.
5. THE UPWARD TURN, 6. RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH and 7. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE--
As you start to adjust to life, your life becomes a little calmer and more organized.
During this, the last of the seven stages in this grief model, you learn to accept and deal with the reality of your situation.Well now, obviously there is more than a little hyperbole at play here. But yes, always the overachiever, I've sped through the seven stages of grief. Ha. Lost my job yesterday, first fresh job interview today.
Little bit concerned its a horrible marketing sales job, an avenue I have meandered down before. Not a good fit for me. That said, money is money!
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