5 GREAT drum songs

DANCE DANCE DANCE- Lykke Li & Bon Iver

Low fi, and really organic, I really really dig the percussion in this song.  I have a slightly different version on my mp3 player, which sounds like they are tapping wine glasses... but it doesn't matter.  The beauty of this wee tune is how delicate it is, yet, remaining toe tappingly percussive. 

It also reminds me of about 5,000 times when a party descends into mucking about with music and people grab anything to get involved.  Anytime I hear this, I feel inexplicably happy.

ONE LIFE STAND- Hot Chip

I know, I know. Everyone loves this track, its from 2009... Yeah, bit slow on the uptake here.  But I just think the percussion is why this song is so awesome, especially, especially, ESPECIALLY the steel drums.  

I used to think these lyrics were...almost like a joke?  I never used to believe guys in songs when they say really sincere stuff (hello cynicism!), and in many ways 'One Life Stand' should be really cheesy... but its not.  Its kind of nice actually? Anyway, a couple of days ago, I rode the train with my friend who told me all this stuff about his idea of a relationship.  It was pretty different from mine (I'm fairly into the concept of two awesome people remain two awesome entities who happen to be together, and not one boring couple), but it sounded so romantic, that I thought, "OK.  So some boys are insanely romantic."  

And it seems like one of these insanely romantic guys wrote this song.

TRUE ROMANCE- She Wants Revenge

I am SO behind the times with this, ok, I get it.  This whole sound has been and gone, I KNOW.  I downloaded a bunch of songs this year after rewatching 'True Romance' (great movie) and this was one that got caught up in the crossfire.  I realise it sound kind of like Marilyn Manson, but that deep, aggressive drum beat just drives the whole tune and I LOVE IT.  I really like the pseudo new-Romantic vocal as well, (because well, if you don't like that Depeche Mode style, well, whats wrong with you?)

& IT WAS U - How To Dress Well

This song is my favourite drum beat of the year, easily.  It seems really simple, and yeah, I guess it is really simple, but relying so heavily on the acapella and drum beat just makes this song ace.  When it kicks in about 1.30, well.... I have torn up dancefloors.  Which, given the song, seems unlikely...but trust me.  Its happened. [I think this song would also win the Grower of 2012 Award].

TIME TO DANCE- The Shoes

Umm, sorry if you haven't seen this video before.  Its pretty disturbing at the start (for about 2 minutes I think) before it kicks in.  Great cameo from the big chief Jake though (if anyone can tell me how The Shoes managed to secure him for this video, let alone this role, please, let me know)

Yeah, but when the drums start, the song HAS me.  Its the sort of beat that makes you want to go running, never stop moving, keep dancing.  Which is perfect for the song.  

The video, well, now I quite like it for the weirdness factor, but yeah, sorry if it offends anyone.

Love a good drum, me.  If you know of any good beats, let me know!!

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Also, took this photo the other night.  Look how GROSS my hand looks?!?!

Rockstars in the living room.

Ooh man.  So it's starting- the Irish are coming to visit me!  

First up are my two great great friends Stu and Steve.  I have a wealth of information and media which I could share with the internet about them, but I won't.  Not for their reputations, more for protecting your sensibilities, dear reader. ,-)

Forfey 2009. I call this photo, "Danger Boob" [Steve, Me, Stu]

However, I couldn't be happier.  Two of my oldest friends, they are like my cool, badly behaved, vegetarian, musically awesome brothers.  We've been there for each other through a lot of things, including losing our religion, coaching each other through relationships and romance (maybe a reason why we are so difficult to pin down*), festivals, changing bands, watching bands, getting drunk, getting hungover, eating vegan food together, and generally going through the best bits of our twenties together.

That's why I am so happy to have them come play with me in Berlin, which is very much a cool new part of (my slowly fading away) twenties. 

So allow me to give a brief introduction to these two whirlwinds of men.

Stu and me, so so so young. Awh.

STU Stu is one of my oldest friends that I see on a regular basis.  We met when we were good teenagers, pretty absent from teenage angst and full of love for the Smashing Pumpkins.   Meeting at the tail end of our religious lives, it was a relief (I think for both of us) to have someone else fall away from faith at the same time.  I knew Stu would be my friend forever when shortly after we met, I woke him up at 6am in the morning during a retreat, to ask him to help me bury a dead pigeon I had found.  I figured, Stu is a vegetarian and a musician, surely he will see the poetic tragedy of a dead pigeon, on a slab of concrete right beside a forest.  He politely declined, but our friendship, incredibly, grew from that moment on.  

Creatively, he has been a member of millions of bands, including the Fast Emperors,  Panama Kings,  Los Lobras (holllaaa!) Clone Quartet and more recently, General Fiasco. (Sorry if I have forgotten any!) 

Panama Kings

Clone Quartet

German Roads by General Fiasco. (relevant, right?)

STEVE

Steve and I met when I was a fresh faced teenager, not long out of school.  I had taken a year out of education to, well, I'm not sure what, but it was during this time that I crossed paths with the man who would become my future ex husband.  I am not really too sure where this joke arose from, but basically at every gig I would ever go to, Steve would do a shout out to me from the stage "Here's to my ex-wife, standing over there.  With wine, again.  Who's looking after the kids, huh, sweetheart?!"  This was always pretty funny, except in situations where people genuinely thought I was his ex-wife, and was a drunk mummy**.

Steve quickly became a firm fixture in, like, my LIFE.  He is also a bit of a legend around our parts and has played with Duke Special (under the stage name "Serge"),  Los Lobras, The Unprotected, Katie and the Carnival, The Queer Giraffes to name but a few. 

The UnProtected

Katie and the Carnival- Steve stuffing his face at the head of the table

MY FAVOURITE SONG PERFORMED BY STEVE

Ok, so I love both of these boys, and I know they can't wait to sample the delights of Berlin.  I asked both the guys how they would like to be introduced-

Stu-  (apparently played the bass on this. RIGHT) 

Message from Stu- 

I've a family dinner thing, gotta go. Please don't embarrass me online. xx

You know too much!!

Steve- (oh man.)

Message from Steve-

Jeez i dunno. hope i get in and out alive. no no limits... no valley to deep, no mountain too high.

CAN'T WAIT TILL YOU'RE HERE GUYS!

One of our #VeganTuesdays, with friends.

* read: perpetually single, romantic-retards
**  I am not married to Steve, nor have I ever been.  We have no children together, nor have we ever indulged in any children making activities.  Go us guys!! In fact, me, Stu and Steve seem to fly the flag for plutonic friendships, YEAH! ANYWAY, I consider myself lucky to hold the fictional title of 'Steve's ex-wife', because he's a great guy.  Except when he lies in rotting milk on buses, forgets his sleeping bags at festivals or pisses on your tent.

International Relations. In Kreuzberg

So a very distinct disadvantage of a blog is the desire to share everything, paired with the common sense not to.  I am definitely lacking the latter, so today I am not going to post about my exciting news (at least not now) but please know, I am bursting to share some brilliant stories with you all.

Instead, I will tell you about my day yesterday.  Waking up, I just couldn't bring myself to trawl through the job sites again.  Deciding to be generous to myself, I was going to maybe dander through some vintage stores, possibly sort out my increasingly out-of-control hair (though now I am being used by a local hair salon as a hair model, so I can't chop it all off) and yeah, just generally treat myself to a day exploring Berlin.

This did not happen.  Instead, I got some very exciting phone calls (..SHUSH Cat, not now) and also some job offers.  Which, frankly, given that I had got to the end of my patience with the job sites, was the best thing that could happen to me.  I had started to toy with the idea of what I would do if jobs didn't present themselves to me, but happily, I don't think I will be walking dogs for the rich and famous just yet.

Anyway, in a spirit of celebration, I went out for some drinks with friends.  Sunday past, I was supposed to meet up with a collective who had been pointed out to me by a mutual friend.  "Bring an extra liver!" was their friendly word of warning...  I had several days of socialising under my belt by Sunday and just couldn't bring myself to attend.  So, having suggested we meet up last night, we all jumped at the chance.

I decided to meet a couple of friends in a bar in Kottbusser Tor beforehand.  One of them suggested a bar called Monarch.  Totally up my strasse, it had a concealed entrance ("For keeping out the riff raff!!") and was kinda grungy and cool.  

A few drinks in, and we shuffled off to join this new gang of people.  They met us in an unbelievably packed gay bar around the corner called Möbel Olfe.  When we eventually found the gang, we were presented with;

- 2 lovely German girls (honestly, one was called Curly, which immediately won her 5,000 sweet points, and the other one literally gushed at me how fond she was of Northern Irish people.  Which, lets be honest, is not the usual reaction!)

- 1 tall English gent (who confessed to, in Spin The Bottle games gone askew, kissing...)

- 1 Northern Irish boy (who laughingly admitted kissing the English boy more than was normal for two straight friends.  That's International Relations at work fellas!)

- 2 French men (totally charming, naturellement.  And from Paris!  Sacre Bleu!)

- 1 Northern Irish girl (Also blinking lovely.)

Such a nice gang of friendly people, I was delighted to befriend them all.  As one of the French guys Mike said- there was a fucking good energy in that group!

I am really enjoying the whole 'new girl' status in town, as it really does allow for a carte blanche and brutally honest approach to friendship.  I feel almost juvenile when I say to people, "Hey, so I'm new, and looking to connect to as many new, exciting, devilishly handsome/pretty people as possible.  Would you like to be my friend?"- but by jove, I think the cute factor works. I feel cute asking it, and I think it makes people feel cute to say "Yeah!/Oui!/Ja!"

Tonight I am going to meet up with my two Irish brothers (I say brothers, just two Irish male friends really, but I'm very fond of them!) to seek advice and high fives for my 'exciting news' situation.  I can't wait till I can write about it- I am sorry if this post has sort of been dancing around this secret the whole time... but all will be revealed in good time!!

Anyway, on that note, I bid you adieu, until next time!!

xx

Cat vs Gema (How to defeat the German 'Man')

So, my one issue with Germany is Gema.

Every time I try to have fun, she weighs in with her judgemental ways.
Every time I try to relive some fun memory from my past, she forces me to get back to reality.
Every time I try to shake senora to Jump In The Line by Harry Belafonte, she stops my fun.
Every time I want a pants dance, she gently reminds me I ought to be dressed.

Oh whatever Gema.  I am so completely over you.

This is Gema.  --->

Ruiner of craic, destroyer of moments, party killer.  I saved the above picture on my computer as 'MotherFlupper' [edited remix there for the kiddies] because every time I see this god forsaken sign on a youtube video, that is what I sigh, moan or shout (mood dependent, you understand).

HOWEVER, no faceless wonder is going to stop my banter. Today oh joy, oh bliss, oh rapture, my super friend told me (again) about the website https://proxtube.com/.  Its quite literally a magic place where dreams come true, fairy dust comes to life and blocked youtube videos get unlocked by a smiley red character.

If you are German, or in another blocked country [Irish people, alas, I don't mean our fun 'blocked'] use this little gem of a website because goddammit- they can take our pride, but they can never take our youtube!

[Disclaimer:  its very late and I am maybe a little buzzed on tiredness and lemon iced tea. Just sayin'.  Today's blog was brought to you by the punctuation tool of brackets.... ]

Job Searching in Berlin

Its a real shame that I don't want to become someone's submissive secretary (Translated- Looking for a submissive female to be a personal assistant in an office. Should be able to read english but does not have to be fluent. Role: - organize schedule - answer phones - book travel plans - keep boss 'relaxed' Pay: - EUR 50,000 / year - bonus - full health coverage)  because jobs like this seem to be two a penny.

Am I being prudish? ;-)  I mean 50,000 Euro a year sounds ok, but as I said to my friend- hand jobs and filing.  No thanks.

Berlin, Berlin. A Love Song/Ghetto Rap

Berlin Berlin

The mother fluppin' capital of sin,

That's why tonight 

I'm pyjama-in'.

These past few weeks

Have killed my liver

Solid gold naughtiness

Is what you deliver.

See, I'm a bit too Disney

Threesomes ain't my bag

(Though lets be fair

A Perfect Facebook Brag)

Practising mein Deutsch baby,

As well as Hipster slang,

Sticking vegetarian,

Those Bratwursts sind zu lang.

Club Mate is the sheisse

We all  know this is true

Ofenkaese is also quite tasty

(That's a cheesy oven baked fondue)

Mostly I don't know

What the hell's on my plate

But fair do's Berlin,

It usually tastes great.

(Except for that kebab that one time.  That tasted of hell)

The U Bahn is my favourite

Full of the weird, smelly and strange

Though mostly I'm scared to look,

I hope it'll never change.

God help you if you come here

And haven't appropriate dress

Its the sure fire way

To cause a German distress.

Get your bloody coat on

And look like you're toasty warm

Germans winter dress code

Is nothing short of 'snow storm'.

Ah but I blinkin' love it

Its such a fun exciting city

(I've written this with wine 

So sorry its so..........

Sh.....Witty.)

How To Date The Irish- An International Guide

For such a small country, we Irish sure do get around!  I have bumped into a whole bunch of Irish people in my brief time in Germany, and its been really fun.  On the one hand, it provides someone to talk in thick slang with ("Ah, good man yerself. And sure, how's yer woman? Deadly. The craic aye, the craic last night was mighty...") but more importantly, someone to compare and contrast experiences with.

Last week, I was out for some drinks with a German boy, a Portuguese boy and an Irish boy.  Mating and dating, allegedly, is something we all like to talk about...and this night proved that right.  The Irish guy shared with us some of his experiences- the difference between chatting up Irish girls and chatting up international girls.

How to Date An Irish Girl (By An Irish Boy)

1.  Take the piss out of her-  a wee bit of aggressive banter is the Irish form of affection.

2.  Don't pay her compliments- Irish girls aren't used to compliments and so won't accept them, or will just be plain embarrassed.

3. Basically pretend you don't like her that much- you'll present yourself as a bit more of a challenge, and what Irish girl wants the guy who is all over her?!

4. Don't do crappy dates at the cinema or anything- Irish girls like to talk and drink, so get this into the mix.

5. A wee friendly thump on the upper shoulder is far better than a delicate caress of her cheek, any day.

6. Laugh, jesus, LAUGH.  If you're not laughing, there's no hope.

Colin Farrell- successful Irish flirt.  Gobby, cheeky, doesn't give a shit. Irresistable?!

Ah jeez.  I do actually totally agree with this!!  The flip side of this was this Irish guy said he found it weird internationally to approach a girl and not be faced with a torrent of abuse and vicious banter.  In many ways, the gobby Irish girl has simply meant he is prepared for any woman in the world.

A few days later I was hanging out with an Irish girl, strolling through some snowy Turkish markets.  As we ran our hands over the millions of bits of materials and smelt all the hundreds of foods, we started talking boys.  This Irish girl was telling me how she has attracted lots of Italians in Germany.  Italians- who do everything SO differently from the Irish lads, that she didn't stand a chance.  Whispered Italian in her ear?  She was a goner!

One great part about this story was the moment she said she tried to engage in some banter and the Italian just did not get it.  He kept offering her food, "Ahh, but I can make you some pasta at my house, no?", to which she replied, "Nah mate, I don't do pasta on a first date."  GREAT LINE!!!  I laughed my head off when she said this, especially when she told me the Italian merely flustered before offering to change the menu to pizza.  Ooops.